Commodore Regimen’s playful skipping with a sacred rope during peace talks enrages the locals, halting pearl trade and plunging relations into turmoil.
Troubled Commodore Alfadore Regimen has spoken briefly about his role in an international incident which drew Guardian City to the brink of conflict with the amiable peoples of Isla Nyora in the Pacific Ocean.
His comments were smuggled out of the brig in the Sawpit where he currently awaits Court Martial.
Regimen, 57, currently being held on charges of misconduct, declared, “It’s all a terrible misunderstanding.”
A delicate diplomatic mission derailed
Misunderstanding it might have been, but Regimen’s actions brought to a close a delicate four-month mission. The aim was to win the trust of the Ravaeli peoples with whom the Shimmering Parliament was keen to find an accord.
The islands are idyllic, according to sketches sent back with a dispatch boat. White sandy beaches, azure seas, palm trees, formerly friendly native peoples. But it isn’t as a holiday destination that Parliament was wooing the Ravaeli.
No, it’s the Nyora Pearl that sent a fleet half way round the world.
The Nyora Pearl was discovered by notoriously ramshackle explorer Captain Elias Thorne. Famously, he was so entranced by its qualities he forgot to make a note of where he was. Only lately did the Commonwealth navy stumble across the island – and the pearl.
These rare, deep-sea pearls are known for their ethereal glow, said to be infused with the island’s bioluminescent algae. Only the Ravaeli have the knowledge – and breath – to find the oysters that produce the orbs.
Antics spark the Battle of Skipping Rope Bay
According to Captain Roger Feek, who has taken command of the fleet – now anchored safely over the horizon awaiting further instruction – it was the proximity of the pearl that triggered the dispute.
Presented with one by way of a present, the Commodore became giddy – “laughing and giggling like a schoolgirl,” according to Feek.
He quit the table, where he was guest of honour, and began running in circles in an attempt to “catch his toes”. Regimen was chosen for the mission specifically because of his experience in diplomacy. He combines a keen intellect with empathy and a forcefulness that never extends into offence.
Not this time.
For, according to reports and images sent by expedition artist Mariana Luce, Regimen began “skipping with a piece of rope” he had found on the beach.
Meanwhile the bearded veteran was heard to sing,
Skip, skip, hop away,
Jump like bunnies out to play.
Round and round, feet light as air,
Skipping here and everywhere!
The Ravaeli’s grim reaction to Commodore
His hosts were beyond horrified. The rope held huge cultural and spiritual significance, representing the line between this world and the next.
According to the Ravaeli, the countless ancestors will be “jiggled, joggled and disturbed” by the Commodore’s playground foolishness.
And the consequences are more far-reaching for Guardian City-Ravaeli relations in what has become known as the Battle of Skipping Rope Bay.
“No oysters for seven years,” reads Fleek’s stark dispatch. “The gods have declared the punishment.”
Regimen, who had been in line for an Admiralty position, writes that he is keeping well in prison and is keen to clear his name. He says he meant no offence.
He claims he has pledges of support, and character references from every rank across the fleet. It is true, that Regimen until just recently was the public face of the Navy, often seen at official ceremonies.
A handsome man, with rugged features, he became the epitome of naval gallantry and courage, although now his reputation is in tatters.
The Commodore reveals his defence
According to his lawyer, the esteemed LJ Anksquith, the Commodore’s defence in the forthcoming court martial will be succinct and truthful.
“He was just jumping like bunnies out to play,” said Mr Anksquith, 67, reading from a statement outside his Scriven’s Yelp chambers.
“In an affidavit, he further goes on to state that his feet were light as air and he was skipping here and everywhere.”
Pressed for clarity on the statement, an irritable Mr Anksquith said, “Like bunnies.”
And, in a preview of the anticipated trial, he hopped about the pavement to re-create the Commodore’s transgression.